C.S. Lewis makes me laugh

"Now, of course, it is perfectly true that safety and happiness can only come from individuals, classes, and nations being honest and fair and kind to each other. It is one of the most important truths in the world. But as an explanation of why we feel we do about Right and Wrong it just misses the point. If we ask: "Why ought I to be unselfish?" and you reply "Because it is good for society," we may then ask, "Why should I care what's good for society except when it happens to pay me personally?" and then you will have to say, "Because you ought to be unselfish" - which simply brings us back to where we started. You are saying what is true, but you are not getting any further. If a man asked what was the point of playing football, it would not be much good saying "in order to score goals," for trying to score goals is the game itself, not the reason for the game, and you would really only be saying that football was football - which is true, but not worth saying."

Is that funny to anyone else?? Funny ha ha, not funny wierd.

Inexpressible Joy

I couldn't sleep on Saturday night. I tossed and turned and got frustrated. I finally just got out of bed about 6am and made some coffee. I am never up that early and I got really excited about getting to watch the sun rise. The sky was already a pale blue color and the light was on every surface. I took my coffee and put on my shoes and found a spot outside where I had an unobstructed view of the mountains where the sun was sure to peek out from at any minute. I stood. I listened. I waited eagerly for what I knew was sure to come. I talked to God about how beautiful it all was. The birds flying by, the way the sky changes color and how you can actually see it if you pay close enough attention. I talked to Him about how today was Easter. I talked to my Jesus knowing that He's alive and well. I spent alot of time this week really thinking about Holy Week and the events and how things happened and what people must have been thinking and feeling and about my Jesus as he rode triumphantly into Jerusalem knowing that the road would lead all the way up a dirt road to a cross that was being carried on his back.

I knew I had to be at church at 8am and needed time to get ready. At 7:15 when the sun hadn't shown its face yet, I finally had to turn and go inside. I was a bit disappointed. I was so looking forward to that really bright silver lining the mountains get when the sun is just inches from its border. The way the sun just creeps up and you can see the circle get bigger and bigger. You can watch the whole thing and see every stage, or you can blink for half a second and miss the whole thing!

The greatest thing is that even though I had to leave and didn't get to see the actual rise of the brilliant sun, I didn't for one second doubt that it would come up. I never thought that maybe it wouldn't show itself today. I knew it was there. I knew it was as bright and beautiful as ever and was just lying in wait a few degrees below the horizon waiting for the command from God to "Go ahead and get up there!" I knew that the very second I turned my back, it would come. I knew that every day since the dawn of creation, the sun has risen. It shows itself in the eastern sky every morning without fail.

When I got out of the shower, the living room was full of the most brilliant yellow light. The sun had finally come just like I knew it would. And it was a day full of so much joy. It should be with that kind of start!

Is that how the women felt that morning when they met Jesus on the road knowing that they had buried him the day before?

The Helper/Giver

So I have a friend who has a strong psychology background and he gave me these cassette tapes to listen to that are a recording of a counseling class he took that talked about the six different personality types. That sentance was really really long. =)

He gave me the tapes because he pegged me right from the start as a Helper/Giver personality type. I listened to them and oh my goodness!! Not only am I totally a Helper/Giver, but I'm like the biggest Helper/Giver to ever exist!!! It was amazing to sit and listen to this instructor define me so well! He could spout off exactly what I think and what I do and why I do it. It was remarkable.

Now the premise behind this study was that each personality type has very good points...but that there's dangers behind them as well. The fact that the comfort of the behaviors is our retreat that we hide in. To get really philosophical on you for a second...the idea is that we all have an innate fear that drives us and our personality type dictates our behaviors and how we deal with that fear. The Helper/Giver in essence is afraid of being alone, and so helping and giving is our way of feeling needed and wanted.

The funniest thing he said (funny, but absolutely hideous), was that when a Helper/Giver walks into a room full of people, what's going on in his or her mind is, "Wow, these people need me. They really need me. They don't know they need me, but they do!" It's so true! I may not say those exact words, but that's what I'm thinking. The Helper/Giver spots from a mile away the person that needs help...and we gravitate to that person. We sense peoples needs before they even know what they need. This sounds good..but ultimately he said we are terrorists. We hold people emotionally hostage. We put them in a spot where they have no choice but to need us and ask for our help.

The whole psychology of behavior and personality really fascinates me.